The Changing Nature of Relationships

First babies are fun. Nothing can replace the feeling of giving birth to your first child (I’m speaking not as someone who ever has nor will physically give birth to a baby, but as someone who floated on air down the hospital halls of my firstborn’s birthing room and someone who will do that again very soon). Every tiny change along the way of pregnancy, feeling that first kick, reading books to a bulging stomach; the first time around it’s brand new and magical. When the baby finally arrives, it’s an incredible culmination of those firsts that then switches to a “what do we do with this?” sort of feeling.

Second babies are different. We’re far from old pros at this thing called childbirth (and child-raising). And it’s still every bit as exciting... I absolutely cannot wait to meet my baby girl. Yet it’s different. I fret less over the tiny physical changes or possible complications, and more over my wife’s heart, my son’s reactions, and trying to ascertain the personality of our newest incoming family member. I think more about and am fascinated by how this little girl will totally change the dynamic of our family. Our focus shifts from one little goofball to a family of four. We will begin to rely on each other more. We will find camaraderie with the same people that daily drive us crazy. I feel like our focus will shift from a triangle of one-on-one relationships to that of a family unit. Parenting rules will change, because previous norms from #1 won’t always fit with the totally different life, different sins, and different heart of #2.

Just before baby #1, there was a deep and difficult realization that our life as two would never be the same. We couldn’t go back to being college kids or newlyweds or full-speed-ahead world travelers. Now we’re here in the final days before baby #2 and the realization is just as deep as last time. Our lives as three will never be the same. Our son will have someone else to occupy his time and energy (yay!). Our daughter will have someone else to help her grow and learn. There will come a day and a moment when our kids run to each other for help with a pain or struggle instead of their Mama and I. I wonder if in that moment I’ll rejoice at the step in my children’s relationship or hurt at the loss in ours.

Change is always the same. But different. In general, I’m the rare type of person that loves changes. I fully expect that this time will be no different. Come on baby girl!

Insert Countryman Short Joke

While waiting in line at a corner convenience store, an old fella behind the counter kept looking at me in an odd way. After the third funny look my way, he turned to a lady and said something to the effect of “they just keep getting taller, every generation bigger than the next!” I didn’t have the heart to tell him that my Americanness makes me much taller than everyone else in the store moreso than my (not so) young age. Then when it was my turn to open my mouth, I made every effort to keep it a secret!

Last night, a French friend joined us for dinner and during our conversation he mentioned that when antibiotics were introduced to France, there was a marked jump in the size of people thereafter. Interesting theory. I wondered if people here were oompa loompas before that.

Someone needs to get some antibodies to our 5’5” French president, Mr. Sarkozy:

Easter. And we wait.

Sunday was Easter. What a day! I've been thinking about how my appreciation for Easter Sunday has grown exponentially since I've begun to really take Good Friday as a serious day of solemnity. It hit me especially hard this past Friday as I read the story of the crucifixion of Christ from my son's Jesus Storybook Bible. Here's a segment:

"Papa?" Jesus cried, frantically searching the sky. "Papa? Where are you? Don't leave me!"
And for the first time - and the last - when he spoke, nothing happened. Just a horrible, endless silence. God didn't answer. He turned away from his Boy.

Reading that, reflecting on the story, and really making Friday a solemn day brings me even greater joy in the celebration of Christ's resurrection three days after his death. And that makes me happy. But on to pictures of other things that make me happy:

Sawyer's first Easter Egg Hunt:

In France, Easter is a holiday celebrated by a massive family lunch. Everyone goes to be with extended family and they share some sort of big, fancy, French meal, probably replete with foods that I would avoid at all costs. Those of us without local family to hang with banded together and met for an international Easter party. We gathered around a table with folks from all over Europe plus a few other Americans. The language dynamic was kind of funny. Since almost all of the adults were expat transplants to southern France, the best common language was English, thus we conversed mostly in English. But the kids - largely in the 2-6 age range - having grown up in France, all talked with one another in French.
Sawyer caught on to the Easter Egg Hunt quickly and had fun walking about the yard saying "egg, egg, egg..." He loved finding the eggs, he didn't so much like crawling through the dirt to pick them up. But he was determined and always found a way to get his egg.
The spoils. Not sure how a car got in there. Too bad he doesn't like chocolate. I guess that's what parents are for.
In other news, we're about to have a baby. We have two more weeks until the due date, but JJ's doctor told her today that he can't believe the baby's still in there, as her body seems to be ready to let her out. So he's betting we don't make the weekend. We think he may be off a bit in that guess, so we're still making dinner plans this week. I can only think of one person (well, 3 in 1) who actually knows. The rest of us will sit tight and wait.

This is a picture I took at a park on Monday. It's quite French. I like it:

A Sunny Bike Ride