Depression. Self-Worth. Self-Esteem.
All issues I’ve never faced. At least not personally. I have many struggles, but those are not among them. Anyone who knows me can probably attest to it. If anything, I tend toward an inflated view of self and I may be a little overly happy at times. But they are ongoing struggles for many of the wonderful women in my life. So I try to understand, but I usually don’t. I try to help, but am best stepping into the shadows and letting someone else do the empathizing and encouraging.
I’ve said here before that there are two primary ways I experience and understand emotion: through the psalms and through music. I often can’t express emotions that are deep down inside, and even more frequent I feel I have no basis for understanding the emotions of others. Songs help me, especially with the latter.
Today I had a bit of extra time after lunch so I went for an afternoon run in sunny Marseille. I don’t usually visit the park near our house on weekday afternoons, and discovered today that I didn’t quite fit in with the rest of the crowd. I was surrounded by walking pregnant women, homeless people (one of whom may have been Santa Claus), and young lovers. As I ran through the sparsely populated park, a song came on my headphones and I listened intently for the first time.
The voice belonging to Jenny - of Jenny and Tyler (a married music duo) - came cutting through in what sounded like raw emotion, and for the first time I felt something I’d never understood. I stood on top of a hill and looked over a city, wondering how many people were feeling the same awful, cutting feelings. As the song ended, I immediately wished my baby daughter were already a teenager, so I could share this piece of art as a way to open up and to show hope. A great song. Listen to the end.
Through Your Eyes: Jenny and Tyler